A realtor said she'd take out an ad to help me rent my New York City apartment. Am I now morally obligated to use her?

By Quentin Fottrell

'Other agents know our apartment is available for rent and now want to show it'

Dear Quentin,

My partner and I have an apartment for rent in New York City.

The current tenant is moving out soon and asked for the contact information for the person who cleaned the apartment when they moved in. This cleaning person was referred to me by the real-estate agent, "Barbara," who helped me find the current tenant. Barbara paid for this initial cleaning as a way to get our listing. We did not sign an exclusive listing agreement with her, but she did show the apartment first and she got the commission.

I let Barbara know that we are looking for a new tenant now and asked for the cleaning person's contact number to forward to our current tenant. Our current tenant will pay for the cleaning. We didn't sign an exclusive listing with Barbara. Other real-estate agents are aware that our apartment is available for rent and now want to show it. Do we have any obligation to Barbara?

She had mentioned she might put out an advertisement for our apartment. If I call her now and let her know other agents are also showing and she doesn't have to put out an ad, would that be OK? Or should I treat her as our exclusive listing agent even though we didn't sign anything with her? That feels more professional. She did provide me with the cleaning person's contact information, and if she already put an ad out, I don't want her to lose money.

Retail Landlord

Related: 'Poor people are not stupid': I grew up in poverty, earned $14 an hour, and inherited $150,000. Here's what I have learned from my windfall.

Dear Landlord,

Paging Edvard Munch.

All of this psychological drama could have been avoided by speaking up in the moment. Your letter reminds me a little of "The Scream," a painting that radiates shockwaves of anxiety. Call Barbara and ask her if she already paid for an advertisement. If she did, give her two weeks to find a tenant before opening it up to other agents.

Given that you have worked with her before and she has gone above and beyond to find you a tenant, including by hiring a cleaner, that seems like the most straightforward thing to do. If she has not yet taken out an advertisement, tell her that other real-estate agents are also showing the unit and apologize for not making that clear when you first spoke.

Don't email. Don't text. Don't send a note by carrier pigeon. And don't convey the message using smoke signals.

The bigger question is, why did you not tell her that you were using other agents when she suggested taking out an advertisement? Do you fear disappointing people or making them angry? Do you think she won't like you if you speak up?

By giving her two weeks to find a tenant in New York City, a highly competitive market, you are essentially giving her first dibs on your empty apartment but not holding it as an exclusive listing indefinitely. You are perfectly within your rights to give other agents the green light, but you do have a working relationship with Barbara.

Rents in New York City

You should not have any problem renting this apartment. Rents in New York City have gone through the roof due to high demand. The median asking rent for apartments in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx hit $3,425 in August 2024, up 2.3% or $76 over the same time last year, according to a Realtor.com report published last month.

In fact, the rent in New York is nearly double the median national rent of $1,753. "In contrast to the overall declining trend seen across the top 50 markets, the median asking rent in NYC continues to rise annually," Jiayi Xu and Danielle Hale wrote in the Realtor.com report. "As of August 2024, the median asking rent in NYC was $359 or 11.7% higher than the same time in 2019."

Looking ahead, be clear about your intentions. If Barbara or her agency did spend money on an ad but another agent rented out your apartment, you would not only have wasted Barbara's money, you would also have wasted her time. The latter, arguably, is more valuable. Of course, you could always be cutthroat and simply tell all agents it's open season.

Barbara may or may not care, but this is as much about you owning your words and your actions - or in this case the lack thereof - as it is about Barbara. Munch has another painting titled, "Woman Looking in the Mirror." You want to be sure you like what you see when you gaze into yours.

Related: 'I don't want to be unfair': My mother gave me $150,000 to buy a house. One sibling wants 15% ownership. What now?

The Moneyist regrets he cannot respond to letters individually.

More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

'My husband blew a gasket': I bought a $20,000 Toyota SUV using financing. My spouse said, 'Pay it off immediately.' Did I get a bad deal?

'I'm trapped between warring siblings': My late father left a ledger with $80,000 in unpaid loans to my brothers. Can they be forced to pay?

'This flies in the face of my morals and ethics': My father cut my sisters out of his six-figure estate. Should I push back?

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-Quentin Fottrell

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10-05-24 1021ET

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