You make saving and spending goals but keep missing them. Don't regret - reset.

By Morey Stettner

Figure out what obstacles came up to derail the process. Then move forward.

Financial advisers often say their primary role is to help you achieve your goals. They might use lofty language such as enabling you to "live your dream" or "pursue what matters most."

The reality is less grandiose. When advisers help you set and achieve goals, they focus on nitty-gritty money issues: How much do you need to save for retirement, your kid's education or a new car? How much should you save and spend every month? How much do you want to leave for your heirs or give to charity?

But even if you set sensible goals and intend to achieve them, things can go awry. How do advisers respond when clients miss the mark? Being heavy-handed doesn't usually work, but neither does making light of the situation or giving up goal-setting entirely.

Ideally, advisers accept missed goals by probing to find out what obstacles came up to derail the process. Then they work with the client to reset strategy.

"Life happens," said Josh Radman, a Denver-based financial adviser. "Over time, a client's priorities can shift." For example, new parents may seek to save a significant amount for their child's tuition. But fast-forward a decade, and their teen may bypass college in favor of vocational training that's much less expensive.

"The beauty of financial planning is that it's a constant work in progress with fine-tuning as needs evolve," Radman said. "Just because a client didn't meet their goals this year - or even for multiple years - doesn't mean that they are completely off track."

Like many advisers, Radman invites new clients to list their money-related goals. He asks them to rank by priority their short-, mid- and long-term goals. "These goals, refined collaboratively each year, become our guiding star," he said.

If they miss the mark, he doesn't assign blame, instill fear or lecture them about what's at stake. Instead, he tries to expand their outlook for the future. He will also try to learn if the goal remains as critical as it once was. Often, a fresh goal supplants the old one due to changes in the person's life.

By asking whether a goal is critical or not, Radman said he wants to help the client distinguish between "what has wiggle room and what doesn't." For instance, perhaps a client who enjoys their work can agree to retire at age 67 rather than 65. But paying $50,000 for a daughter's wedding in six months might be non-negotiable.

To motivate clients to follow through, advisers may use financial-planning software to run various scenarios. Sometimes called "Monte Carlo" simulations, these illustrations predict potential outcomes based on shifting variables. For a retirement-planning goal, the variables might include retirement age, income expectations and pre- and postretirement expenses.

"The software can, in a way that's fairly digestible to any client, model the financial impact of lowering expenses, bringing in more income or a combination of the two," Radman said.

Advisers often explore whether a client's money goals align with their values. For instance, if a client wants to pay off all personal debt within a certain time frame, that goal can clash with a desire to buy a second home or invest in a business venture. A desire to "own a vacation house to host my grandkids" or "help my adult child get a running start as an entrepreneur" can conflict with a prudent goal of entering retirement free of debt.

When goals go unmet, a common culprit is a lack of buy-in from the outset. At those times, advisers can be an effective sounding board. "I can serve as an accountability partner," Radman said. "I state the facts and lay out the choices."

Plus: 'I feel like I'm just a number.' Is it too much to ask my financial adviser for portfolio reviews at least 4x a year?

More: 'Like winning the lottery without buying a ticket.' These people got rich in unexpected ways.

-Morey Stettner

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10-03-24 1242ET

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